A "Grand" Experience...

Last Thursday was the end of my very first term (2 months) serving an 8 week journey on Grand Jury Duty hell…yes, hell.  Is it my civilian duty?  Yes.  Does that mean I have to like it?  No.  DID I like OR enjoy it?  Also NO!

For anyone wondering, a grand jury determines whether there is enough evidence in the first place to support a criminal charge upon probable cause, and to justify putting the defendant to trial on that charge. Grand juries (23 total) carry out this duty by hearing witnesses and examining evidence presented to them by a prosecutor. If probable cause to support the charge is found, the jury votes to issue an indictment, and no less than 12 of us had to agree that the evidence was enough to warrant an indictment. 

My first day (aka, selection day), was a 6 hour ordeal that consisted of maybe 65 other Oneida County residents, a few DA’s, the Jury Commissioner, and the judge.   We were explained the day's agenda and then a random selection process was conducted.  I was #22 called out of the 23 selected.  SO close….

Once we were called, we were instructed to leave the room we had been "held" in all morning, and herded like cattle across the hall to a different room.  In there we heard:

…You’ll probably really enjoy this

…You’re going to find it interesting

…You’re really going to learn so much about what’s going on in our county.

At some point we were moved for a 3rd time, only this time to an entirely different building.  On the way, the parking lot we were "supposed" to park in was pointed out.  2 blocks away behind some sketchy noodle joint.  Pfffftttt...yeah sorry, but there was no way I was parking my car way the hell over there. Eventually we were forced to watch what seemed like FOREVER -  a 20 minute narrated video of still pictures on a DWI stop.  Pretty sure all 23 of us snored our way though that one.

What we didn't hear, is that the majority of cases we would be hearing would mostly involve DWI’s, and drug busts which may or may not cause us to be severely lethargic by the 3rd one.  And those that aren’t, would without question, successfully burn images in our memory causing nightmares like we've never had.   

Most of the DA’s are so annoying, that you walk out slamming your head all the way down the 3 flights of stairs on your way out.  

…What?  No elevator?  Yes, however said elevator did not provide adequate speed or space for all 23 of us to make a quick exit.  Sprinting down the hall to the stairs, pushing and shoving my way to the door that lead to said stairs, and leaping down each set as if I was doing hurdles in a track meet provided me with a much faster escape…trust me.

Moving on…

Did I end up learning anything in the end?  Sure!

~ I can recite verbatim, the laws regarding DWI's and possession of a controlled substance 

~ Members of a grand jury spend their free time re deliberating cases previously heard - a little silly perhaps since we've already indicted the defendant.  But it did kill time while we waited for the DA's to get their crap in order before presenting the next case
~ Not all DA's are completely annoying.  And the ones that are will make you wish you had one of the dozens of hand guns previously presented as evidence in a different case to blow your own brains out with
~ The system is a complete joke

~ “AHA!” moments do not exist, and nothing is really clear

~ When the DA asks if any of the members of the grand jury have any questions for the witness, don’t expect the witness to be allowed to answer it – all the ones I asked were tossed out

 ~ And finally, if the Oneida County residents would STOP driving while intoxicated, stop selling drugs, stop carrying a weapon(s) without a permit, stop vandalizing, forging checks, attempting murder, successfully carrying though with murder, breaking into someone's home, making contraband in their jail cell, stabbing people, assaulting people, stealing, beating up folks simply because they're jealous of their babies mamma’s new boyfriend, then it would probably not have taken me a week to find my desk again. 

...yes, I heard all of the above